New Beginnings

What is it about coming to a point in your life where disappointments and struggles bring you to a moment of complete surrender to God? It seems that life calls for situations to tear you down and rip you apart in order for the one who knows, how you're supposed to be put together, to fix you up right. I find myself in that situation right now. Looking around, I see one set of foot prints in the sand... my own. They are foot prints that have carried (more like drug) my heart around into territory it should never have entered into. Territory that I've seen others walk through that leave them alone and broken and completely hopeless. Why did I think it would be any different for me? One thing I've come to realize this day is that the enemy will trip me up in any way he can find... any sneaky, low, completely crappy way he can. The battle for my joy and peace have never been so real to me before. It's my heart that is on the line here. A war is raging for my affection and attention and devotion. I want to declare that today is day 1 in New Beginnings. My goal is to discover something new about God and myself every single day. That's one thing I love about God, he is the creator of New Beginnings. We have started going to the woman's bible study called Breaking Free by Beth Moore. I know that God has brought me into this season for such a time as this. I'm committing to breaking free and starting over. No longer will the thoughts, words or actions of other people stand between God and I. That's no way to live. It's taken a lot of tough situations for me to realize this. For too long I've let certain things stand between me and the promises and calling of God for my life. NO MORE, I SAY!!!! I spent some time today reflecting on my journal entries from this past summer and fall. I would love to say that I've seen some growth from that time and that I'm not dealing with the same issues anymore, but the truth is that I feel the same. Why? When it comes down to it, it's because I have kept the only one who deserves my heart at an arms distance away. Today I'm putting my arms down. I read this in my journal from July 26, it comes from Isaiah 49:2-7:

"He made my life like a sharpened sword, in the shadow of his hand he hid me; he made me into a polished arrow and concealed me in his quiver. He said to me, 'You are my servant, Elyxis, in whom I will display my splendor.' But I said, 'I have labored to no purpose; I have spent my strength in vain and for nothing. Yet what is due me is in the Lord's hand, and my reward is with God.' And now the LORD says - he who formed me in the womb to be his servant to bring Jacob back to him and gather Israel for himself, for I am honored in the eyes of the LORD, and my God has become my strength - he says, 'It is too small a thing for you to be my servant to restore the tribes of Jacob and bring back those of Israel I have kept. I will also make you a light to the Gentiles, that you may bring my salvation to the ends of the earth.' This is what the LORD says - the redeemer and holy one of Israel - to him who was despised and abhorred by the nation, to the servants of the rulers: 'Kings will see you and rise up, princes will see and bow down, because of the LORD, who is faithful, the holy one of Israel, who has chosen you.' "

I love Jesus.
I trust Him.
My heart is His.

-and I am confident of this:
that he who began a good work in me will complete it until the day of Christ Jesus -

Relying on Grace,
Elyxis