.:The Winds Are About To Change:.

So it comes down to this. Tomorrow is my last day of CLC. Holy Cow. There are so many emotions flowing through my veins right now! I am inexpressibly excited to enter into a new season and to enter in to all the fullness that God has for me. I am overjoyed by the things that God has done in my life over the past two years. I am overwhelmed when I think of how he's blessed me with such amazing friends. I am also sad. Not a sadness from regret or mistake, but a heightened awareness of the fact that this amazing season of my life is coming to a close. God has been so faithful to give me peace and joy over the past few weeks. I for sure will miss this time of my life... it's been awesome! I value all that he's done. I value the people he's brought me so close to. I value Jay and Bo so much. I value his word more than I ever have. I value my time with him so much more. I value my own life more. I value obedience. I value relationship. I value the Holy Spirit. But one thing I am especially thankful for is the fact that this is also the beginning of something incredibly beautiful and precious to the Lord, in not only my life, but my friends' lives too. I absolutely cannot wait to see where God takes us all. I have such a sense of hope and excitement. I know that God will take us on different paths and towards different goals... but this I also know: He has allowed us to cross paths for the past two years, and because of that, I have been blessed and have learned and have been healed of past hurts and have loved deeper... for that I am truly grateful. I know that throughout our lives God will bring us to intersections where we will cross paths again. This is not the end, but the beginning. I'm trying not to get all sappy and emotional about this, but I can't help it! There is a tension in my spirit as God teaches me to cherish and treasure, but also live a life with open hands... open to receive and open to let go. It's hard, I'll get it someday. But for now, here I am.

"His lightnings light up the world; the earth sees and trembles." Psalm 97.

We are his lightnings, and he's going to send us out... I cannot wait to see what he does!

This song has been playing through my head for the past week or so, so here it is!

Oh Happiness!



Just thought I would share this super cool picture I took last weekend!
God is pretty rad.

I graduate two weeks from this Wednesday. This is also a beautiful thing.


Crossroads: prt2

Do you ever feel like you're in that place where you know God is speaking and directing you, but it's just kind of fuzzy? Gosh, I know that feeling all too well right now! I know that I'm about to enter into a season of my life where the decisions I make, whether they seem small or big, will set the pace for how I walk out these next few years after CLC, and maybe even how I walk out the rest of my life. I think every young adult comes to the point where they realize the call of God on their life and that it's for real, it's not a game. My choices, out of obedience to Christ or not, will determine the outcome of my life. I don't want to be a sleepy, ineffective, passive Christian... I just don't want to! I've contemplated much what I will do after June 2nd, 2010. I am graduating. I can't even remember what life outside of CLC looks like! I for sure have never experienced "grown up life" (if you could call it that) outside of CLC. I was 17 when I started, and now I'm almost 20. My affection and love for God has gotten so deep in my heart over the past two and a half years. I look at all he has done in my life, and am constantly blown away by his grace and swept away by his love. So what will I do after I graduate... God knows. I don't need to know this exact second...
One of the greatest truths I have come to really own over the past two years is that God really is the only one who can satisfy me, the only one. When you are alone enough, and go through hard things enough, and after looking to as many other things as you can for long enough, you come to realize this very thing...Jesus is enough. There are dreams and desires in my heart that I cannot wait for God to fulfill! I see a lot of people my age, more particularly girls my age, who live their lives out of a place of desperation (not for God), fear, anxiety, worry, stress, and who try so hard to be who they think their friends or the world or their parents want them to be. I'll be the first to admit it... I live out of that place way too often. God is showing me that he doesn't want another _______ (fill in the name), he wants me, just as I am. Last week, I was worshiping in a large group of people and my mind started to wander just a tad bit, and I felt God speak to me so clearly. It was as if he was grabbing my face and holding it and shouting above all the chaos and noise, simply saying, "Right now, I want you... forget about all these other people... I want you." I know that God cared about those other people in the room and that he was ministering to them and all that (cuz he's God) but it was just this intimate moment where I knew it was just him and I... and that's how it should be. Sometimes you just need God to remind you that he's in love with you!
I once heard a man say this:
I have never lacked any good thing, I don't lack any good thing, and I don't suspect I ever will.

Living satisfied in Jesus is for sure a choice, that I know! But the reality and beautiful truth of it all is that the creator of the whole freaking universe chose me, and passionately loves me, and is eternally committed to growing in relationship with me. When I live like I actually believe that, being satisfied in Jesus is like breathing air... sure, sometimes there are complications, but you can't help but breath.... breathing deep and long. I want to live in satisfaction like that!

Learning and living to choose Jesus,