I just finished my third week of CLC... all I can say is wow. I am very positively sure that God has spoken to me more clearly than ever before, in the last few weeks. He has gently, in his Holy Spitit kind of way, shoved me out of my comfort zone and into a whole new realm of relationship with Himself. He is faithful every morning to meet with me, He is faithful every moment to remind me that He is there and loves me, and He is faithful to remind me that I am indeed a sinner! He has spoken alot to me just about the authentic-ness of our relationship and lovingly reminded me that it takes real sacrifice to grow in Him. The other morning, while reading my bible, He spoke to me out of Zechariah 7:5, which says, "...When you fasted in the fifth and seventh monthes during those seventy years, did you really fast for Me - for Me?" Now not that I literally fasted for seventy years, but I am in a lot of ways fasting for these nine monthes of my life. God just spoke to me and asked if I was really doing it ALL for Him or if I was doing it for myself, even in the slightest way... and I was forced to answer the honest truth, which was "no". Of course I went into CLC with the intentions of getting to know God and myself better, but I was forced to look into myself and check my motives. The bible talks about how God looks over all the earth searching for the one who loves Him with their whole heart, I want to be that person, so badly. I have found myself desperate to get into the presence of Jesus every spare moment that I have because I am tired of it being about me. I want GOD to use me, not the other way around. I will be the first to admit that I haved used God before as an excuse and even to get my own way... BUT GOD IS SO SOVEREIGN!!! I cannot escape Him. He has grabed a hold of me and shaken me, and still is shaking me... it's hard, I'm not gonna lie, but it is sssooooooo good. "The Lord takes pleasure in those who fear Him, in those who hope in His mercy." ps.147:11 I do hope in His mercy, His grace, and His salvation... I dont know how I would be living without Him right know, to be honest. Everything around me is shaking. Everything. All I can do now is trust and know that He is more in control of everything around me, more than I can ever imagine. I love Him a lot!
Still running,
Elyxis.
