I have about 300 million.
I am prone to make remarks that make no sense, ask questions that are retarded, laugh at the wrong time, fall down on flat surfaces, come into conversations at an awkward moment, make stupid jokes, have stupid comebacks, try to be sarcastic and fail, fall for everything (im very gullable), and seem unusually clueless about almost every situation I find myself in.
All my friends say, "AMEN!"
But, despite all these things, though they do bring embarrassment and a red face, they make my life fun :) They also bring joy to others, as have said my friends... SO, without further adue, here are my top 5 embarrassing moments in order of most embarrassing on down... I hope my little accidents bring laughter to your soul!
1.)Falling in the Church parking lot-
So about a month or so ago, I was leaving the church after a wonderful monday day of good food and maintainance rotations. I was with like 5 other CLC students and we were walking out to our cars in front of the main office. I was laughing and having a good time, and obviously not paying attention... I stepped off the curb and before I knew what was going on, I was flying across the parking lot! Now mind you, I did not trip on anything or roll my ankle - I just fell down. So I am flying across the parking lot with my arms going in circles and my legs flailing, and somehow running at the same time(?). I tried for about 5 ginormous steps not to fall, but it still came. I practically did a "007" roll onto my shoulder, landed on my back, and to top it all off, my legs flew over my head and my rear was up in the air! Yep, it was glamourous :) Thomas and Tim, being quite the gentlemen they are, ran over to help me up. As I looked around at all my specktators, I started laughing uncontrolably. I am very sure I was only laughing so that I didnt cry. Oh, I wanted to die for sure! Thomas still describes that act of falling as "Defying the Laws of Physics" because I gained so much momentum in such a short amount of time, and I didnt even trip on anything! I only wish it was videotaped :)
Moral of the story: don't trip on air!
2.)Falling down the stairs in Big Church-
Most of my moments will have to do with falling down... So it was a year ago, during the Childrens Christmas Program dress rehersal. I was setting up the stage and moving props around, etc... then pastor Dave, who was back in the sound board asked me a question. I couldnt hear him because there was music playing, so I decided to run down the stairs so I could get closer to him so I could hear him. BIG MISTAKE!!! I didnt have any shoes on, only socks, so the second I hit the first stair, my feet slipped out from underneath me and I fell down the 4 or 5 steps and onto the ground. I layed there for a moment before I got up, knowing that the minute I popped my head up, I would see many people laughing :) So, I got up to see pastor Dave doubled over in laughter...
Moral of the story: never run on the stairs in the santuary in your socks!
3.)Having a panic attack in Mexico-
Last summer, I went on a missions trip to Mexico... it was really fun. One particular day, we were headed to Cozumel for an outreach. Now Cozumel is an island off of Playa, so we had to take a ferry over to it. I have been on boats and many ferries in my lifetime, but for some wierd reason, my body didnt like this one! It had already been a ruff day: we walked probably 2 miles in the heat in a fast paced walk, and I hadnt had any water to drink yet that day, and I had a monster bug bite on my ankle that made my ankle swell to double its size and it was super painful. So we finally got to the ferry and I sat down and closed my eyes from exhaustion. I held it together for most of the 2o mintue ride, but the last 5 minutes of it, my body threw a violent fit! My airway shrunk and I couldnt breath, I felt like I was going to throw up at any moment, and I was crying uncontrolably. Im not gonna lie, I was pretty loud and everyone on the ferry was staring at me... Not only did I feel like crap, but I was thorougly mortified :) I ran off the ferry and a nice man who was sitting near me gave me some of those sea sickness pills (whatever they are called?). It took me about 2 hours to stop shaking and to where my stomach didnt hurt. It was scary...
Moral of the story: drink some water if you are in Mexico and are going to sweat 3 gallons and walk 2 miles AND it's always good to take pills from absolute strangers!
4.)Guys dont need toilet paper if they are only going #1 -
About a year and a half ago, we moved into an appartment. There were some guys from church that helped us move, which was very nice of them. One guy in particular, who will remain nameless, had to go to the bathroom right when we got to the appartment. We hadnt even been inside yet, so putting two and two together the way I do, yelled up the stairwell, "There isnt any toilet paper though!" The guy stopped, laughed a little, and then kept going. I took me a second to realize that he didnt need toilet paper... and then I turned red and didnt make eye contact with him almost the whole rest of the time.
Moral of the story: think before you speak, it will get you far in life :)
5.)Andrea likes to embarrass me-
I love Andrea. It is true. She loves me. She also loves seeing me blush :) There is this on going thing between her and I. I can't fully explain it because I dont like to talk about it, but lets just say it has to do with what married people do when they "really really love each other"... yah. You know what I am talking about. So on our senior trip, Tori, Andrea and I went up to Detroit lake and stayed in this amazing lake house. We had tons of fun! The second day we were there we decided to watch a movie on the laptop. The cabin was 2 levels, the bottom was 2 bedrooms and a bathroom and the top was like a master bedroom except it was open and you could look down from it and see the living room and also look out onto the lake through the huge windows. So we decided to go up there to watch the movie because it had a big bed that we could all fit on. It was a super cute room and it could be really romantic... so Andrea, knowing that I am very modest and embarrass easily, starts making comments about things and long story short, it hasnt stopped since. Any opportunity that arises that she can make a joke of, she does and it makes me red every time :) I cant really tell you anything more than that... :)
Moral of the story: I will get married someday...
WOW! This post got kinda long, sorry... but in light of me telling you my most embarrassing moments, I feel it is your duty to tell me yours :) So do it!
