.:The Hero:.

So I have had some very interesting conversations over the past week about the differences between guys and girls... and I've come to the conclusion that we are total opposites, but each make one half of a whole. Before I explain myself further, I would like to put this disclaimer out there: someone else does not make us whole, Jesus Christ makes us whole, and completes and fulfills us, in a way that no other human can. With that said though, God was so intelligent in his design of men and women... he did make us each a part of one whole. God made man and women in his image. I was having a conversation with an awesome guy friend of mine the other day, and he said something that I had never thought of before. He said that females show him more of who God is whenever he's around them (some, on the other hand he said, show him satan....but those aren't the ones we're talking about here, haha!). Women, especially the ones who love Jesus, are intriguing... there's beauty and mystery, gentleness and kindness, love and grace. It really took me aback as he talked about it. So often you hear guys, well the immature ones at least, complain about women... that they're too emotional, too hard to understand, not worth the effort, too this, not enough of this, and so on. It's funny how mindsets set in so readily and easily. I totally realized that even though I am a girl, I had started to buy in to these lies. I found myself questioning myself. Maybe I am too much, maybe I think too much, or maybe I even feel to much. WHAT?! That's such a load of crap! I am made in God's freaking image! You know, God is fierce, strong, brave, courageous, vengeful, jealous, wrathful, and He's a warrior. So true. And I'm thankful that he's the pursuer and that he is all of these things. I wouldn't want him any other way, no thank you to wimpy-ness! But people!, God is loving and kind, his mercies are new every morning, every morning! He is slow to anger. He weeps for us. He feels the things that I feel. He is beauty. He is mystery. God is the author of these things, he's the author of me...
Another thing that's been on my mind is just knowing God, REALLY knowing God, as my most intimate friend and even, dare I say it, my most intimate lover. Risque, I know! Men in general want to be the hero, they want to save the day and solve the puzzle. They want to succeed. They want to be "MAN!" {little side note: you can insert the word Man or simply the letter "M" into any sentence, word, or phrase and it instantly becomes more manly, i.e. "mable" (man table), man class (vs. our "women's issues"), man dates, man nights, man tights (ok, yeah I made that one up...), you get the moint (man point)} Anyways... wow, WAY off track! (ok, serious time) Jesus was fully God and fully man. Anytime that I've ever thought of him dying on the cross for me, I've known it was all for love... but I guess I've never thought about what kind of love... it was more than the love you have for your favorite pop tart or chick-flick, and certainly more than just someone he had to love. I can't even wrap my little brain around it! On the cross, he was my hero... he was taking my shame and my guilt and the total of my failures, and he completely accepted them as his own, so that I could know his Father. He was a real Man, to the fullest degree and extent. I think a stereo-type that society has put on men is that they can't fail, mess up, or be wrong and still be a real man... after those screw-up's, they become some sort of version of half a man, or not one at all. Can I just say how much this is so untrue! By all outward appearances, Jesus had failed as a man. I can only wonder what was going on in his heart and in his spirit as he hung on that cross, for me. Did he see beauty and mystery in me, did he see something in me that was worth dying for? This goes for both men and women... what did he see in us?!

So much to take in! It's made me stop and look at 3 things in myself:

1. Am I portraying the image of God that he has placed inside of me, as a woman after his own heart?
2. Have I let Jesus have my heart, as my hero and rescuer and most intimate lover?
3. What can I do to invite the Men of God around me to reveal more of the image that God has placed inside of them, as men?
   

Like I was talking about at the beginning of this ridiculously long thing, God has made us two parts of one whole. We are so opposite in some areas, and scarily more similar in ways we didn't know we were in other areas. God made us to compliment each other. Sure, compliments about clothing or biceps are nice, but that's not what I'm talking about... what I'm proposing here is that together we can most accurately portray the very image and character of the Living God. That's a big statement, if I've ever heard one!
Take a sec to think about what that actually means....

This "little" revelation is simply blowing my mind... why have I never thought about this before? This whole thing is probably old news to most people... haha :)


How to end this blog escapes me.
This process of understanding God and men and all matters in life is so much fun...
I love Jesus :)

In the arms of my hero,
Elyxis

Removing Locks from my Heart...

This past week truly has been amazing! In my last post I was talking about the wilderness. I have been in the wilderness, for sure. I made the decision to face the wilderness and stop trying to run away from it and was pleasantly surprised! There are still things that I need to deal with (as always) but I feel like at one level or another, I have started to break through a major wall in my life... a wall called doubt. I doubt my ability, my calling, the gifts the Lord has given me. I doubt whether or not Jesus wants to work in and through me and whether he even can. I doubt in so many things and if it's not one thing, it's the other. I'm always doubting and second guessing. I need to stop it! More particularly when it comes to worship. Worship is something that has always captivated me, pulled on my heart, but it is something that I have to fight hard for. I know that God wants to use it in a powerful way in my life, so consequently the enemy is bent on stealing it from me... and if he can't do that, he'll try to get me to misuse it. I feel like God has begun to recenter me in the area. Praise God! Jay's friend Mark Thorton came to speak to CLC this week. He said a few things that I believe was really the Lord speaking to me for the time that I'm in right now:

• My job as a worshiper (or worship leader) is not to usher others into the presence of God, but to open the eyes of others so that they can encounter his presence.
• The presence of the Lord is the subject of reality. The glory of the Lord is the object of reality.
• Don't be guilty of not entering in because of other people.
• Opportunities of a lifetime must be seized in the lifetime of the opportunity.
• I have as much of God as I want.
• The source is always more important than the resource.
• It's more important that Jesus receives my praise than it is for me to give praise.

He asked us these questions:

• Should God's presence be my whole pursuit?
• What is preventing me from encountering God?
• When I say I want more of God, does my life reflect that desire?
• Am at a point where if God never does anything else for me, I will still serve him and give him everything I am?
• What am I excepting from the enemy?

These questions and many others from the Holy Spirit have been mulling around in my brain this whole week as I really look inwardly and ask for change. The first half of CLC I think was kind of a desert season for most of us, but as the first week of our second semester has rolled on through, I really believe that God wants to take us all to a new place, individually and as a group.

"But whatever former things I had that might have been gains to me, I have come to consider as [one combined] loss for Christ's sake. Yes, furthermore, I count everything as loss compared to the possession of the priceless privilege (the overwhelming preciousness, the surpassing worth, and supreme advantage) of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord and of progressively becoming more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him [of perceiving and recognizing and understanding Him more fully and clearly]. For His sake I have lost everything and consider it all to be mere rubbish, in order that I may win (gain) Christ (the Anointed One), And that I may [actually] be found and known as in Him, not having any [self-achieved] righteousness that can be called my own, based on my obedience to the Law's demands (ritualistic uprightness and supposed right standing with God thus acquired), but possessing that [genuine righteousness] which comes through faith in Christ (the Anointed One), the [truly] right standing with God, which comes from God by [saving] faith. [For my determined purpose is] that I may know Him [that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His Person more strongly and more clearly], and that I may in that same way come to know the power outflowing from His resurrection [which it exerts over believers], and that I may so share His sufferings as to be continually transformed [in spirit into His likeness even] to His death, [in the hope] That if possible I may attain to the [spiritual and moral] resurrection [that lifts me] out from among the dead [even while in the body]. Not that I have now attained [this ideal], or have already been made perfect, but I press on to lay hold of (grasp) and make my own, that for which Christ Jesus (the Messiah) has laid hold of me and made me His own. I do not consider, brethren, that I have captured and made it my own [yet]; but one thing I do [it is my one aspiration]: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the [supreme and heavenly] prize to which God in Christ Jesus is calling us upward."

Philippians 4:7-14 (AMP)

Climbing Walls,

Elyxis

Project: Wilderness

"Is not this what we said to you in Egypt: 'Leave us alone that we may serve the Egyptians'? For it would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the wilderness."
Exodus14:12

Am I so scared of the wilderness that I stay willing to serve the enemy's purpose for my life?

When you leave a place of familiarity, even when that's a place of captivity, you feel alone. When you're stuck in a wrong mindset and break free from it, you feel like you've got nothing left. You feel free in Christ, but at the same time you're not exactly sure what to with yourself or how to react to some of the same situations you faced before. You know you have to walk in freedom or you won't truly be free.

"Take away the dross from the silver and the smith has material for a vessel."
proverbs25:4

"Therefore, behold, I will allure her and bring her into the wilderness, and I will speak tenderly and to her heart. There I will give her her vineyards and make the Valley of Achor [troubling] to be for her a door of hope and expectation. And she shall sing there and respond as in the days of her youth and as at the time when she came up out of the land of Egypt. And I will betroth you to Me forever; yes, I will betroth you to Me in righteousness and justice, in steadfast love, and in mercy.I will even betroth you to Me in stability and in faithfulness, and you shall know (recognize, be acquainted with, appreciate, give heed to, and cherish) the Lord."
hosea2:14,15,19,20

It seems to me that with the wilderness always comes refining and seemingly less desired circumstances. The Israelites were always complaining about being in the wilderness. Honestly they sounded like little kids, "We're hungry, we're tired, are we there yet?"! Seriously people! I laugh about it and easily think that I am way better than that. But I'm the same! So sad! Because of their complaining, the people who experienced freedom never experienced the promise. Only Caleb and Joshua, who trusted God, entered the Promised Land.

The wilderness all throughout the bible is the place in between prophetic vision and the fulfillment of God's promise. King David, Joseph, the people of Israel, Jesus, John the Baptist, Abraham... all of these people spent some time in the wilderness (and by some time, I mean SOME GOOD AMOUNT OF TIME) whether that was the actual physical wilderness or spiritual wilderness. And they encountered these seasons more than once in their lives.

The Wilderness is not a bad place.

"The wilderness and the dry land shall be glad; the desert shall rejoice and blossom like the rose and the autumn crocus. It shall blossom abundantly and rejoice even with joy and singing. The glory of Lebanon shall be given to it, the excellency of [Mount] Carmel and [the plain] of Sharon. They shall see the glory of the Lord, the majesty and splendor and excellency of our God. Strengthen the weak hands and make firm the feeble and tottering knees. Say to those who are of a fearful and hasty heart, Be strong, fear not! Behold, your God will come with vengeance; with the recompense of God He will come and save you. Then the eyes of the blind shall be opened, and the ears of the deaf shall be unstopped. Then shall the lame man leap like a hart, and the tongue of the dumb shall sing for joy. For waters shall break forth in the wilderness and streams in the desert. And the burning sand and the mirage shall become a pool, and the thirsty ground springs of water; in the haunt of jackals, where they lay resting, shall be grass with reeds and rushes. And a highway shall be there, and a way; and it shall be called the Holy Way. The unclean shall not pass over it, but it shall be for the redeemed; the wayfaring men, yes, the simple ones and fools, shall not err in it and lose their way. No lion shall be there, nor shall any ravenous beast come up on it; they shall not be found there. But the redeemed shall walk on it. And the ransomed of the Lord shall return and come to Zion with singing, and everlasting joy shall be upon their heads; they shall obtain joy and gladness, and sorrow and sighing shall flee away."
isaiah35

The wilderness looks scary and unpredictable. That statement is so true!

In my own life, the wilderness has been a place that I have dreaded and I think for that very reason, God has had me there for a very long time. When I read that verse from Exodus, it hit home I think for the very first time. Would I rather serve the enemy in Egypt or be with Jesus in the wilderness?


Contemplating the Wilderness,
and Joy,
and Peace,
and Mystery,
and a "butt load" of other things,
Elyxis

Ah Memories!

Look what I found! Don't worry, I cried too...

It's amazing to see where we were and where we are now!

Tears of Joy!
Elyxis

New Beginnings

What is it about coming to a point in your life where disappointments and struggles bring you to a moment of complete surrender to God? It seems that life calls for situations to tear you down and rip you apart in order for the one who knows, how you're supposed to be put together, to fix you up right. I find myself in that situation right now. Looking around, I see one set of foot prints in the sand... my own. They are foot prints that have carried (more like drug) my heart around into territory it should never have entered into. Territory that I've seen others walk through that leave them alone and broken and completely hopeless. Why did I think it would be any different for me? One thing I've come to realize this day is that the enemy will trip me up in any way he can find... any sneaky, low, completely crappy way he can. The battle for my joy and peace have never been so real to me before. It's my heart that is on the line here. A war is raging for my affection and attention and devotion. I want to declare that today is day 1 in New Beginnings. My goal is to discover something new about God and myself every single day. That's one thing I love about God, he is the creator of New Beginnings. We have started going to the woman's bible study called Breaking Free by Beth Moore. I know that God has brought me into this season for such a time as this. I'm committing to breaking free and starting over. No longer will the thoughts, words or actions of other people stand between God and I. That's no way to live. It's taken a lot of tough situations for me to realize this. For too long I've let certain things stand between me and the promises and calling of God for my life. NO MORE, I SAY!!!! I spent some time today reflecting on my journal entries from this past summer and fall. I would love to say that I've seen some growth from that time and that I'm not dealing with the same issues anymore, but the truth is that I feel the same. Why? When it comes down to it, it's because I have kept the only one who deserves my heart at an arms distance away. Today I'm putting my arms down. I read this in my journal from July 26, it comes from Isaiah 49:2-7:

"He made my life like a sharpened sword, in the shadow of his hand he hid me; he made me into a polished arrow and concealed me in his quiver. He said to me, 'You are my servant, Elyxis, in whom I will display my splendor.' But I said, 'I have labored to no purpose; I have spent my strength in vain and for nothing. Yet what is due me is in the Lord's hand, and my reward is with God.' And now the LORD says - he who formed me in the womb to be his servant to bring Jacob back to him and gather Israel for himself, for I am honored in the eyes of the LORD, and my God has become my strength - he says, 'It is too small a thing for you to be my servant to restore the tribes of Jacob and bring back those of Israel I have kept. I will also make you a light to the Gentiles, that you may bring my salvation to the ends of the earth.' This is what the LORD says - the redeemer and holy one of Israel - to him who was despised and abhorred by the nation, to the servants of the rulers: 'Kings will see you and rise up, princes will see and bow down, because of the LORD, who is faithful, the holy one of Israel, who has chosen you.' "

I love Jesus.
I trust Him.
My heart is His.

-and I am confident of this:
that he who began a good work in me will complete it until the day of Christ Jesus -

Relying on Grace,
Elyxis

Winter Part5 ! episode: Ice Skating (again!)

This becoming quite the tradition! And I love it! Hope and I headed up to the inn and enjoyed yet another day of fabulous ice skating!

So Adorable!






















Probably one of my favorite pictures, ever. :)

Hope has quite the talent when it comes to ice skating! She's teaching me how to NOT fall down :)































































A few videos from the day!









~Elyxis~

Winter Part4 !

So, you can pretty much bake cookies at any time during the year... but we did in winter, so I'm just gonna call it a "winter activity"!

The thing that really made the night was the 3D glasses and this funky apron... lets just say we had a little too much fun.

Stacia singing to David Crowder (you obviously cant hear her, but believe me, she was!)

We will call this one "Stacia looking special." :) ha ha! I love you Stacia!!!

And here I am in the glasses and apron...yeah.

A few thoughts from today:

Today was our first day back to CLC after 2 weeks off for break. Can I just say, G.L.O.R.I.O.U.S. I definitely needed the break! I've been a season of questioning and evaluating myself and where I am. It's almost halfway through my second year of CLC! I would say some evaluating is in order :) God has shown me a lot about my character in the past two weeks that I know I need to change, and I'm thankful that He's revealed it to me. Today during prayer, Jay was talking about God's promises, as we've just read about in Genesis. He was talking about how rainbows can't appear unless there are clouds. It's often in those times when there are storms blowing through our lives that God reminds us of his faithfulness and of his promises. It's in those times that we grow the most and become more like Christ. I have to learn the art of surrender, in some way or another. If that's by the storms, then so be it. Though there are many things about myself I know I need to change, Jay reminded me today of the importance of allowing God to love me and show me myself through His eyes. I am very thankful for Jay :) I'm super tired right now, so I don't know if this really made sense but, oh well :) That's really all for now friends!

Loving Christ and his Freedom,
Elyxis!

Winter Part3 ! (and a little somethin' about this past year)

So here it is, Winter Part3... These were taken Christmas day! I had so much fun this Christmas! God has blessed me with such wonderful Family and Friends! Many things have happened in the past year that could be considered spectacular and I have done many things in the past year that could be considered crazy, "special", or just plain silly. But hey, it's life, and I love it!

Here are some of my favorite memories from 2009, not in any special order! (Click on the link to see pictures/videos!)

1)Last years New Years Eve Party! Probably one of the funnest party's I've ever been to! Lots of laughs! Guitar hero, random stuff :)

2)I Heart Prinville/I Heart Sisters
God has used the heart campaign to touch so many people and it's blessed me to be a part of the I Heart events! At I heart Prineville, we got to pray with tons of individuals, not only at the concert but out on the streets, to receive Jesus... Through these outreaches, God has opened my heart more and more and has taught me how to better love the lost. I love Jesus so much!

3)Spring Break Coast Trip!
Probably one of my favorite trips, in a long time.... CLC packed their bags and headed to the coast for a week of blissful fun. We had no rotations, no responsibilities, no homework, and we got to get away from Bend, hallelujah! We played guitar hero, watched movies, hung out at the beach, climbed a massive (and by massive, I mean MASSIVE!) sand dune, some people were drug into the ocean, and best of all, it was the beach... I love the beach!



4)40 Days. For 40 days during April and May, I set aside time to seek the Lord in a way I've never done before. He spoke to me so much and gave me direction and instruction and wisdom. It's something I want to do every year now!

5)MTI Nights! All I have to say about that is this: Andrea, you saved us all with your drawings! Ha ha, no, actually I loved MTI. The lessons taught me so much and our practicum group was amazing! Shout out to Drew and Tami!


6)Adopt A Block and Dream Kids. I loved connecting to other people in our community who needed to feel the love of Christ. I know that what we did not only impacted the here and now, but eternity as well.

7)Cascade Life Commission Graduation! Even thinking back to it now, I get all teary! I remember just how much God did last year and all that he's continued to do and I love it! I've watched my very best friends grow closer to Christ and there is almost nothing that gives me greater joy! Love, love, love!!!!

8)Mexico! All I can say is WOW :) God showed me a lot about my character that I need to change! I was able to help lead worship at the Griggs' church the three weeks I was there. It was very refreshing to get away for a while, even though I will admit that I missed my friends very much! We had a healing conference and countless people were healed emotionally and physically and spiritually. It was amazing!

9)Summer Camp. Relationships rebuilt. Students changed. Families changed. Eternity impacted.

10)New Friends! Getting to know Hope and her family has been so much fun! Hopefully many more good times in 2010!

11)Encounter
God is amazing!

12)I Heart Bend 2

13)The many Ice Skating Adventures!


14)Going to pick up the Africa team from the airport

15)Getting my hair cut short!

16)Knowing the Love of Christ in new ways, every day.

17)Our end of the year party out at the Parsons, water fights and all! (ps. thanks to the Parsons for opening their home to us all the time, you guys are amazing!)

18)Getting a Dog! I love Lola!

19)Moving, again. (and hopefully the last time for a while, sheesh)

20)Starting 2nd year CLC!

21)Getting a job at a daycare.

22)I started going to the Deckers small group in July and have ever since. I love it so much there!

23)Having contact with my real father for the first time and getting to know him more.




There is so much more that happened in this past year, but to list them all would probably bore you if you haven't already been bored, ha ha :)

Thanks to everyone who made this year as wonderful as it was.

You all mean so much to me!

I pray that this new year brings new joys, loves, passions, challenges, ideas, seasons, and most of all, a new start.

I love you!
















All Smiles,
Elyxis

Winter Part2 !

Ice Skating... seriously one of my favorite things to do in winter time!

Some of my favorite people :)

So much fun!

Hope and I

Winter Part3 coming soon,
Merry Christmas,
Elyxis!

Prophetic Hindsight

I could not have known yesterday morning what would transpire from then until this point. Jay has started a second year class about leadership. What is the cost? That's what I've found myself asking... what does it cost? We looked at four places and times in Jesus' life that shaped him. The wilderness, the mountain top, the garden, and the cross. With knowledge comes responsibility. The Word says that its sin to know what you ought to do and not do it. Now I know, not in full, but in part... I am responsible. Hearing him teach, I wasn't aware of how personal and real it would become to me in such a short amount of time. I can't explain what God is doing in my life right now... not that I don't know how, but it runs a little too deep and close to my heart. It's costing me, more than I thought it would. God's asking me if I'm serious about this thing, this pursuit of his presence, will, and call in my life. AM I SERIOUS. This is so hard. I just wanted to share a song that's been consuming me for the past few weeks, it's by JJ Heller and called Your Hands. It's kind of my hearts cry right now. Hope you enjoy it.