It Was the Best of Times..

It sure has been a long time since I have written on this thing! It's funny how life can sneak up on you and begin to take all your time and store it away in a back pocket that you forget to check. Time is a mysterious thing to me. It goes by fast and it takes so long to pass. It's one of those love-hate-relationship things. When you want the time to pass, it likes to creep along, and when you want time to stand still, it likes to get all crazy and before you know it, it's gone.

Time so often likes to bat for the opposing team. It leaves you scrambling to figure out how you feel. It keeps you on your toes.

In the end, I think the joke is actually on us. I know I spend so much time trying to tell time what to do, when in all reality time hasn't given it one thought, and it likely never will. Time cannot change its agenda because of my desires or anyone else's for that matter.

I have come to realize over the past months how much I have focussed all of my energy and attention and expectation and (dare I say it) my affection on the time. "I can't wait for this time of life." or "I wish this relationship would last forever." or "This season better be over soon." or "Why does it take so long." The list goes on.

Jesus has began to reveal to me another area of my life that is both yes and no. Another paradox that seems to bring the tug of war rope to a complete stand still. It's not gonna budge. However, the tension felt by the two seemingly opposite ends of the spectrum create a beautiful revelation.

It's not really about time at all and it's also all about time, or rather the One who holds all of time in his hand.

The message a couple weekends ago at our church was incredible, look it up at thecity.org. Pastor Judah talked about how it is biblical and Gods desire for us to look into the future with expectation and excitement. I feel like I'm pretty good at this, if you even know me a little bit, I am always excited about what's coming next and what life will bring in the future.

The other end of this brilliant spectrum is God's desire for us to be content and thankful for where we are and where he has us. This is the part that I'm not as good at. I'm sure there are many people who find themselves in the same boat.

So what now?

It's in His hands.

All I know is that I'm so thankful for where I'm at and someday I want to get better at always being that way.


With much love from this rainy, rainy, RAINY city,
Elyxis

One Year.

One year ago, this week, I made the 7 hour trek up to Seattle, Washington. I can barely believe that it's already been a year. I am sitting here at one of my favorite spots (Backporch, at MY table mind you) thinking about all that I have done, all that God has done in the last 365 days. The only word that can scratch the surface of what I'm feeling at the moment is Thankful. I am so thankful that Jesus called me to Seattle. I am so thankful that he didn't hang me out to dry when I got there, but He has taught me about life and love and most important of all, he has taught me more about himself.

I think back to every time I have walked on the heights this year, and I feel the lingering sorrow of the times spent in the depths. I remember all the laughter, and I remember every tear. I recall every moment in Gods presence, and I bring to mind every word he spoke to me.

It's funny how I am entering a new season, even as the leaves are beginning to turn, and I feel myself longing to return to the adventure and uncertainty of this last year of my life. I have seen the pattern of my own humanity that is constantly looking back at what I had, wishing with every cell in my body that I could return for a moment to those days.

I have found that not only I, but all of my best friends, have come to that ledge between our childhood and finally being released to passionately pursue the dreams God has placed in our hearts... and we get to watch each other jump off that ledge. We each get to see the others experience the thrill of leaving comfort and security and feel the rush of free falling. We get to experience it for ourselves.

The ledge I find myself upon today is causing me to make a decision. Sure I have jumped before, but this one seems a bit more scary. It's hard to capture the exact emotions that have risen in my heart with this jump. I have driven back and forth between Bend and Seattle over 10 times in the past year. That's roughly 7,000 miles of trying to figure out where I belong. That's over 130 hours of trying to make a decision about who I think I am and who I think God has called me to be. I never realized before how much weight your location carries when it comes to your identity, or your perceived identity at least.

Tomorrow I drive back to Seattle once again. However, this time I'm gonna take a jump. This jump is unlike the other jumps I have taken. For too long I have let fear and my flesh cause me to hesitate when I'm trying to move forward. I have allowed my past to become this thing on a pedestal, rather than recognizing and appreciating it for what it was. For a year, I have lived FOR my past, not BECAUSE of it. Today I am approaching the ledge and tomorrow I will jump.

I am so excited. I am so THANKFUL that Jesus loves me the way he does. That he 's holding my hand, and that he has never expected me to go anywhere or jump off any edge by myself. I can say with all honesty that I believe that this next year is going to be better than any I've experienced, not because of my job or even my church, but because with every step I take toward Jesus, He's gonna take a million towards me.

I can't wait to see the strides my friends and I make this year, even as most of us are hundreds of miles apart. I know that God is working us into something bigger than we can even imagine. This year is going to be one for the books.

God is so good.



With all the love in my heart for my friends and my family,
Elyxis

Hannah and Samuel.

Bend has never been so beautiful! I am so thankful for this time I have here to refocus and be refreshed. God is so faithful and so good!

With that said, I have been thinking a lot about these past 10 months in Seattle. I have asked myself a lot of questions. I have asked God even more questions. I know that Jesus has a plan in everything and that he always works all things together for good. So my petition to God right now is this: Show me. I need him to show me some why's. Not for the sake of knowing for my own simple desires, but because he has put it in my heart to ask him. I'm completely rested in the fact that he will answer my questions.

Today, I sat aside the seemingly large-scale questions and simply asked God to give me something new from his word... and boy, did he.

1 Samuel 1 is full of treasure of all sorts and I cannot count the number of times I have read through this passage, knowing that it is for me, in this season and in my life as a whole.

I don't know if you do this, but when I read passages from the bible, I try to figure out where I fit in the story. Am I the sinner, the saint, the crazy person, the brave person, the anointed person, the one who doesn't quite hit the mark... the list goes on. So as I delved into this story once again, I asked the question, 'Who am I?'

Am I Hannah, am I Samuel, am I Eli? I think the answer in Jesus is 'Yes, you are!' The season I'm in, coupled with the way God desires to use me could easily put me in any one of these people's shoes. So my next question was, 'God, which one am I right now?'

There's something significant that happens when you live your life for the moment God has given you, right then.

Immediately, I got a little ahead of myself and assumed that I was the Hannah in this story. She's a girl, I'm a girl. She was waiting on the promise and favor of God, I'm waiting on the promise and favor of God.. it made sense.

I asked God, 'What is my Samuel then?'

If I'm Hannah, there must be a Samuel. Right away I started flipping through the scrapbook of my mind, looking through pages of promises and words from the Lord that had not come to pass, yet. There were many things that I began to assume. Well certainly it must be this, or that. It probably has to do with that situation. It seems like this place or that place would fit in here. I assumed so many things!!

Then, clear as day, God made this simple suggestion:

Before you can have a Samuel of your own, you must learn to be a Samuel at my feet.

This, very quickly, caused me frantically to begin searching again through the first chapter of Samuel.

The reasonableness of my own mind again decided to pitch in it's two-sense. How can I be the Samuel we see in chapter one? He's a baby, and at most a kid by the end of the chapter. Everyone wants the Samuel we see in chapter 3,

"And Samuel grew, and the Lord was with him and let none of his words fall to the ground."
(v.19)

But the Samuel of chapter one? Literally the only things mentioned in regards to Samuel is that he was conceived, born, weaned, and then brought to the house of the Lord.

(As if the fact that his conception and birth was not a miracle enough in and of itself.)

I continued to read and reread this chapter, searching for some clue as to why God had said what he said.

I did a little research, and this is what I found:
Hannah was the first to call God the Lord of Hosts.

Lord of Hosts calls to the idea of the Lord of the Battle and the Army. Lord of the Appointed Time. It ropes in words like warfare, service, soldiers, to wage war, a campaign, to assemble, fight, perform, muster, and wait upon.

Samuel was to be a Nazarite. A Nazarite vow ensued 3 things: No cutting your hair, no drinking strong drink (wine), and no touching anything dead. However, only one of these things were mentioned; in v.11, 'No razor shall touch his head.'

No razor to come upon his head gives way to the idea that no fear of man shall come upon him.

The idea of weaning in this specific situation was to allow Samuel to grow in maturity until he had the capacity and ability to serve in the house of the Lord.

Back then, weaning typically had 3 stages: from the mothers milk (at 3 years old), from their tender age (at 7 years old) , and from childish manners (at 12 years old).

As I read these things, God started speaking to my heart.

I found myself in much frustration this past year as I have struggled and strived trying to figure out what God wanted for me and what he was trying to speak to me and how he wanted to use me. I was trying to not only figure out what my Samuel's were, but was subconsciously trying to skip the chapter one version of Samuel in order to get to the chapter 3 version.

Even as I'm typing this, God is showing me how he has faithfully spoken this very thing to me day in and day out up in Seattle, in various ways and forms.

Before you can have a Samuel of your own, you must learn to be a Samuel at my feet.

Samuel grew up, most likely until the age of 12, with his mother Hannah. He sat under her care. She was the one to bring him out of childish ways and into a place where he was capable of walking out and fulfilling the vow that was over his life, to serve the Lord all the days of his life,without the fear of man..

I know that nothing in the bible is there by accident, so I can't help but conclude that the Lord of Hosts is in there on purpose.

In times where I find myself like Hannah, afraid and wondering if God will ever answer my prayers or give me victory, I remember that He is the Lord of the Battle and the Appointed Time.

There are so many gems in this chapter and I am completely overwhelmed and find it difficult to even begin to describe all of the things that Jesus has shown me.

I wrote this down as I was reading,

Jesus is keeping me in his arms and close to him, teaching me and bringing me up, in him, so that when I am ready, he can take me into the house of the Lord and bring a release over my life so that I can be the Samuel whom the Lord was with, whose words never fell to the ground.

I love when Jesus gives me greater revelation of who he is. It's the best in the whole world..

Loving the sunshine,
Elyxis

He Has A Plan!

These are two amazing sermons that were spoke at my church, The City Church, that if you allow them, could most definitely change your life.

I just listened to these two back to back and it packs a powerful punch of Jesus awesomeness. :)

The first is a message titled Jesus Is The All Powerful One, preached this past October by Pastor Judah.

The second is a message titled Getting A Vision For Your Life, preached just a month ago, in May. Perry Noble is hilarious and anointed by God.

You will not regret listening to either or both of them. So good!

Be blessed on this day!

Elyxis

With Summer Comes The Sun!

Well, where to start? I find myself on this partly cloudy Saturday at a Starbucks in Issaquah Washington. I'm having a mostly good hair day. My fabulous red TOM'S arrived in the mail this week and I've worn them for 4 days straight. I'm drinking a chai. I'm really really sore from starting my workouts this week. The seat I'm sitting in is pretty hard, but I have a good view.

But mostly, right this moment, I miss my life in Bend. I miss the people in Bend. I miss being comfortable. I miss things being easy.

I've found myself in this predicament and I find myself wondering why and how..

I've got to get honest somewhere to someone, so right now this is what I have, here and you.. whoever you may be and wherever you may be.

There's something that happens when you suddenly become aware of your surroundings and that you are alone in them, or so it feels like. That's where I am now. That dirty, rotten devil has yet again tried to persuade me that I am alone.

For nine months now, I have lived in an unfamiliar place (a little more familiar than at first, but still unfamiliar) and I have tried to figure out how to live a grown-up life and make grown-up decisions. Before I moved, I thought that it would be somehow fulfilling, to be in an unknown place with nothing but the future ahead of me. But right now, with brutal honesty, I have to admit that I only feel alone and unfulfilled.

I've been through any and every class I can take that teaches me about God and I've read my bible, a lot, and I know how it "works". If I look to Jesus to find all of my fulfillment and not to anything in this world, I will be fulfilled. That's the bible right there.

So the question going through my mind right now is this, "I thought I was looking to Jesus, so why do I feel this way?"

"I don't know"'s are all that is going my mind right now.

That's really all I can make out at the moment, is "I don't know."

But I do know that God absolutely does. I do know that He loves me. I do know that He's sitting with me here at this Starbucks. I do know that He's holding my hand and my heart.

I have no idea who reads my blog, but if you happen to read this semi-long and maybe even downer-esque post, I would love and absolutely appreciate any small prayers you may send up for me or any encouraging verses you could leave in the comment link.

Lastly, you may be wondering the reason for the title on this post. It's simple really. I'm just believing that with summer, sunshine will come, and that with that a little bit of breakthrough.

That's about it. :)

I can do this,

Elyxis

"When the whirlwind passes, the wicked are no more, but the uncompromisingly righteous have an everlasting foundation."

Proverbs 10:25

God you are my strength, Jesus you are the joy set before me. Not once have you gone out from underneath me. Not once have you left me to fend for myself. You have surrounded me and covered me. You have brought me to know your goodness. You have taught me to endure your silence, and not only endure it, but press through it. You have shown me that there is always breakthrough coming, it's constantly on its way. Every surge of my own resistance is met by a typhonic flood of your grace. The winds of this life, both uncontrollable and ones created by the fan of my own desires, cannot endure the strength of your love. The seas of inescapable emotion that wear on my soul, they are silenced by you alone. You have shown me that the whirlwind, when endured by a righteous person, produces only an everlasting foundation for them to stand on.

I have wandered in out and of your presence, and as sure as the tides of the ocean, have wandered to and fro amongst many shifting shores. Will I serve you with my whole heart. Will I love you even when I feel forgotten.

Forgetfulness, a word not in your vocabulary, except in the wondrous way of your forgiveness. You forget my sin, and bring to life every fiber of my being. You are not capable of forgetting a single cell in my body.

I've seen my worth through many lenses, but all these have been shattered. The image of your Son has come into clearer focus. The colors have began to brighten, after countless days spent relying on black and white images, strung together to embody a motion picture that I thought was my life. Whether I jumped backwards or looked ahead, it was still only greyscale living. You are stripping my mind of the memories of colorless living. You are painting new dreams upon my heart, using the red of your blood and redemption, the yellow of your glory, heaps of blue that bring your eternal presence into my life, lacing it with the purple of your majesty, and highlighting it all with the purest white. You are my creator. I often stumble backwards in awe of the beauty of your masterpiece.

Day by day, You give to me more of the promise. The hues of color come alive to me! You're teaching me to see again. You're teaching me that without contrast, and saturation, and exposure, there is no perfection! You bring to the table what I cannot.

So what have I left, if not you alone? I'm seeing the hand of the painter, the strong right hand of the one who calms the storm.

Jesus, in light of all of this...in light of you, the only reasonable response I can conjure is to allow you to use every storm, every heartache, every pain and trouble to reinforce the foundation I have in you. I'm sure in the end, it will not matter the things I do for you or the things I don't do for you. What will matter is whether or not I loved you more than I ever thought I could, and this only by your grace.

Jesus I am amazed by you.

Elyxis

You Hold My Hand

"But you, Israel, my servant, Jacob, whom I have chosen, the offspring of Abraham, my friend; you whom I took from the ends of the earth, and called from its farthest corners, saying to you, 'You are my servant, I have chosen you and not cast you off'; fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand... For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, 'Fear not, I am the one who helps you.'"

I came across this scripture yesterday as I was flipping through my bible. It was one of those moments when you feel God whisper in your ear, you know those moments. It was one of those moments that you wish would last for the rest of your life. It was one of those moments that you don't want to leave, ever. You dont want to disturb it with your thoughts or plans for the day. You just want to keep it perfect. The thing that makes it perfect, the only perfection I can vaguely experience on this earth... Jesus. In moments like that, you feel like you get to take off your earth suit, and you get to simply be in the presence of Jesus... no limitations, you find yourself free.

There is something astoundingly freeing knowing that the words of the Bible are true, and not only that, but they are being displayed in my life, day in and day out, and to go even further, they are living inside me.

This scripture puts me at ease, when everything around me wants to tell me the opposite of who God is and what he has said about me. He is the one who called me, He took me from the farthest places, He will not cast me away, He is with me, He is my God, He will strengthen me, He will help me, He will uphold me with His righteous right hand, He will hold my hand, He will surely help me.

Despite anything and all that I do, he is the One who sustains me. This new season in Seattle has been life changing and God has been so good, but I'm learning that its not so much about seasons as it is about the person of Jesus Christ. The personification of Grace and Love, Mercy and Hope, in and through my life... even despite my life.

I feel like I'm on the threshold of breakthrough, personally and spiritually. I'm reminded in times of waiting, like right now, that it is indeed God who is strengthening me and taking me from glory to glory. He's holding my hand, and he's got my back. I love him so much.

A waiting heart,

Elyxis

Seattle: Day 190

Im sitting here, on a rainy Tuesday night in Seattle, and the only thing I can think about is how good God is and how much he's blessed my life, in incredible ways and with incredible people. Seattle has been an amazing adventure so far. I love life here, so so much! God has taught me so much and has brought me closer and closer to him. I recently looked back at some prophetic words that I recieved concerning my time here in Seattle and I was literally speechless. It took a lot not to burst into tears as I read through all of these things and realized that God was actually doing them. I believed that God would do them, but somewhere in the back of my mind I assumed that it would be a long time until I began to see fruit after moving here. Thank goodness I was wrong, and God is a gracious God. It brings me so much satisfaction knowing that I'm smack-dab in the middle of what God has for me, right now, and that He has given me a specific grace for this very season. Don't get me wrong, I have definitely sown many tears, but JOY comes in the morning... I feel like the dawn is finally breaking. Praise the Lord. Looking at my life with my eyes alone, it feels a bit normal. However, God has been revealing to me his vantage point. My life here is nothing short of supernatural. Every day is a tool in my hand. Pastor Brian Houston from Hillsong preached at our church this past weekend and his word confirmed so many things in my heart. He spoke about how we cannot discount the day at hand because it's not where we want to be. It's God's gift to us that we can dream and hope for the future, yet it is also His will that we understand that life is short and living for today is one of the most effective ways we can advance the Kingdom of God. I can't let the dreams that God's given me for my future rob the gift that he's placed in my hands for today. The power of what I am doing right now is more effective for right now than just waiting around for the day that something "big" will happen. God is looking for chasers of his will and purpose, not people who sit back and wait for the call of God to come smack them in the face. God has definitely shown me what it is he has for me to do right now, so I have determined to do it with all my might. I don't want to miss what God has for me now, because of what I think I should be doing now or in the future. I have set my heart on the fact that God is my promoter- I don't have to make a way for myself and I don't have to prove myself. I focus on God, I get closer to God, He uses me, He gets the glory. That's the simple truth of it.
There's not time to even begin to scratch the surface of all that God has been doing in me. I'm falling more in love with him, by his grace. I realized that I came up here thinking I knew enough about God, for then at least, and wanted to figure out who I was. But I think my thinker was a little backwards. I'm finding that the more I try to figure out who I am, I get lost and find my eyes wandering from where I should be going. But the more I look to the Rock of the Ages, the Sure Foundation, the One from whom my help comes from, the Faithful One, the only Constant, Neverchanging, Everloving, God, full of Truth and Grace, when I look at him, then and only then, do I know who I am.

I justed passed my 6 month anniversary of living up here, and in about a week will be the one year anniversary of my first visit to Seattle and the church I now call home, The City Church. It has been the best experience of my life so far! I do not regret a thing.

And I would like to thank my mom, for always loving me and supporting me and sending me home with amazing food every time I come home for a visit. :) Love ya Momma!

Blessed!
Elyxis

Wide, Open Spaces...

I once knew a girl who was bound up inside. Years of building walls had proved to do the exact opposite of what she had hoped for. Instead of offering protection, these walls served as the bars of a jail cell. She knew there was life available and willingly ready for her to step into, any day she chose. Yet the walls were strong. On one side, she was hemmed in by fear... fear of the unknown, fear of failure, fear of being hurt again. Another wall was titled pride. She thought to herself, "If I break through this wall, I'll have to admit that I don't have it all together..." What if people thought badly of her. Behind, a wall of unforgiveness taunted her. How could she move beyond what these people had done to her. Memories echoed loudly in her head. Abuse. Abandonment. They walked on her. They overlooked her. They held her back. She wasn't worth it to them.

However, all of these walls failed to compare with the wall that was in front of her. This wall had many names. Faithlessness. Disbelief. Mistrust. Doubt. Anger. These things had crept together to form a monster that she wasn't prepared to deal with. The worst part of this creature was that it was staking its flag on the plot of land called God. She was angry with God for bringing her to this point in her life. She had lost faith that he wanted to take care of her. She didn't believe that he had good things for her. She didn't trust him to heal her. She doubted that he even wanted to.

The girl had taken jewelry and makeup to decorate these walls, maybe they wouldn't look as ugly on the outside as they did on the inside. She hoped no one would notice.

Although the walls screamed at her everyday, pushing her down into deeper despair, something in her heart wouldn't let her go under. There was a dream in the depths of her heart that hoped that the small voice that whispered, "Come to Me", was indeed real and true. What was she supposed to do. Her hands couldn't fit between the jail bars, they were too close together. She wasn't strong enough the break them. She didn't have the authority to have them unlocked.
She had had enough. Quietly at first, but growing louder with each call, she cried out for help. "Help! Help!"

She was startled as a crack shot through the wall on her left. Crumbling to the ground, the wall began to disintegrate. The jail bars began to fall out of place, clanking loudly against the hard concrete ground. She yelled all the more loudly, calling out to be rescued. Fear of being buried in the rubbish overtook her as she fell to her knees, crying, wondering if she would make it out alive. Sounds of destruction and violence whirled around her like a tempest. She closed her eyes. And then, silence.

"We throw open our doors to God and discover at the same moment that he has already thrown open his door to us. We find ourselves standing where we always hoped we might stand - out in the wide open spaces of God's grace and glory, standing tall and shouting our praise."
Romans 5:1-2

She had never seen such beauty.
She had never stood so tall.
She had never been so free.
She had never felt so loved.

Who is this Jesus? He is grace and acceptance, life and joy, forgiveness and hope.

I am so thankful this girl now knows new freedom.

Standing where I always hoped I would,
Elyxis

Jesus Is _________.

Well, where to start, that's the real question! I have lived here in Seattle for a little over a month and I am absolutely blown away by Jesus. Words cannot give justice to the way that God has loved me and how he's changed me and grown me... I am truly in awe of him! The week after I moved here The City Church started a series called Jesus Is____. In this series, we have been traveling through the book of Mathew to figure out what the Word of God says about Jesus. Lots of people have their own definition of who Jesus is, whether negative or positive. (visit jesus-is.org if you want to see what people all around the world have to say about Jesus). I believe that Jesus knew that I needed to know more of who he is when I moved here... which I do! :) Moving here has been one of the most challenging but rewarding steps that I've taken in my life so far. I've only been here a month and I'm already starting to see fruit that comes from obedience. Jesus has revealed himself in so many ways, and I have found myself falling more and more in love with him... it's exhilarating! This weekend, in our Jesus Is series, Pastor Judah preached a message called Jesus Is the All Powerful One. He shared the story of Jesus feeding the 5,000 and the 4,000 in Mathew 14 and 15. I am constantly amazed as I read and learn more about this God-Man that came to earth to die for me. Jesus. Jesus. Jesus. His name is so powerful. In chapter 14, the word says that the people were with Jesus till late in the day in a deserted place. In chapter 15, it says that the people followed Jesus for 3 days. Obviously, if you followed someone around for a whole day, let alone three whole days, you would probably be hungry and tired. It says that Jesus had compassion on them and when he saw that they were tired and fatigued, he asked his disciples to feed them. They brought the little they had and Jesus multiplied it. It says that ALL were fed and that there were even baskets of left-overs. Jesus did not turn the people away and tell them to go find food on their own... he understood that because of the time and place they were in, they were hungry. Jesus is powerful enough to overcome the time and place I'm in, and I am so thankful for that! God's love and the measure with which he cares is totally and completely out of control. I was challenged tonight as I heard this message... have I let time and circumstance be the preacher I hear? Have I allowed my past experiences, my present problems, and my current circumstances to convince me that they are more powerful than God?? No matter where I am or how long I've been there, Jesus is more powerful than anything I face. That's the truth of it. Jesus is working something wonderful together in my life, I just need to understand his position and my own. Jesus is the all powerful one.
Sometimes I wonder when I'll figure it out or if I ever will, but Jesus is so good to quiet me with his love. I have found that since moving here, if I don't make an active, conscious choice to let God's peace have rule over my heart, I become a crazy lady! There are so many things in the practical that I could be stressed about and so many things I see in myself that I want to change... but I have to wait on God. It's a day by day thing here. I can't get away with what I used to in Bend, and I like it that way. If I skip a day and don't center myself in Jesus, I feel it. (and the poor people in traffic have to deal with me too... I HATE traffic, and Lord help me when I get into traffic without my Jesus.) As the season is changing, I have a hope in God that I don't know that I've had before... It truly is amazing! I am so thankful for what God is doing and am so excited to see what he's gonna do with this new season!
Maybe sometime I'll actually take some pictures and eventually get them on here too :)

twitterpated and in love with Jesus,
Elyxis

"But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The Steadfast Love of the Lord never ceases; His Mercies never come to an end; They are new every morning; Great is Your Faithfulness. 'The Lord is my portion,' says my soul, 'Therefore I will hope in Him.'"
Lamentations3:21-24

I don't know how ok I am with how fast my last month in Bend is going by! It's been so good as I have (tried my best to) put on the mind of Christ about moving away from everyone and everything I love and am comfortable with and find security in. God has been so faithful to give me peace knowing that he is in control. He knows me more than I know myself. This summer has truly been a summer of hiding myself in the Word of God... with all the stuff (and by stuff, I mean crap) going on in my life, I have no idea where I would be if I had choose anything else. I have had quite the time of it, trying to think differently than I ever have before... When you have your life defined by certain things, for practically your whole life, and you think about it being different, it kinda takes you for a whirl. I have absolutely NO idea what life will look like up in Seattle, but this I call to mind: God's love never ends, his mercies are forever and are new every morning, his faithfulness is above measure, and he alone is my portion... therefore I have this great hope. I cannot wait to see what he does! I love him so much! SO MUCH!!!!

"No shuffling or stumbling around for this one, but a sterling and solid and lasting reputation. Unfazed by rumor or gossip, heart ready, trusting in God, Spirit firm, unperturbed, ever blessed, relaxed among enemies... an honored life! A beautiful life!"
Ps.112:7-8(the Message)

These scriptures are where I choose to stake my flag.

Standing on the Rock,
Elyxis

Moving on Up... or Down... or All Around... Who knows? God knows.

Holy guacamole!!! I haven't been so good about keeping this thing updated! This summer has flown by at unappreciated speed and I've bumped into one of the biggest decisions I have ever had to make. I am so excited about what God's doing in my life and how is using me and how he will use me! I am moving up to Seattle! :) I absolutely cannot wait, I'm crawling out of my skin with excitement! Back in March, God gave me a word out of Deuteronomy 1... at the time, I was looking into maybe checking out San Fran and moving down there. It's really cool how when you are willing to take steps, God will begin to direct them. I once was told that God cannot steer someone who's not moving. So after looking into that and having those doors closed, I wondered what God would have for me to do this next fall. Shortly after God gave me the word, I went up to Seattle for the Generation Church Conference, and God did something in me that I cannot explain... He reminded me of several prophetic words that I had received in the past and totally, radically changed my perspective of him and of myself. Oh man! It was great! I came home and went about the rest of my 2nd year of CLC, totally forgetting about the word that God had given me before my trip up to Seattle. So, what was the word you might ask??? God reminded me this morning, out of no where... it just popped into my head. And it rocked my world, again.

"You have stayed long enough at this mountain. Turn and take your journey... See I have set the land before you, go in and take possession of the land... 'Where are we going up? Our brothers have made our hearts melt, saying, The people are greater and taller than we. The cities are great and fortified up to heaven. And besides, we have seen the sons of Anakim (giants) there.' Then I said to you, 'Do not be in dread or afraid of them. The LORD your God who goes before you will himself fight for you, just as he did for you in Egypt before your eyes, and in the wilderness, where you have seen how the LORD your God carried you, as a man carries his son, all the way you went until you came to this place... who went before you in the way to seek you out a place to pitch your tents, in fire by night and in the cloud by day, to show you by what way you should go."

God has been so faithful to me... When I made the decision in the beginning of June to move to Seattle, the enemy was right there to come in and put fear and anxiety into my heart and mind. I began to think like the people of Israel had in this scripture... the city is so big, I am so small, what can I possibly do to make a difference up there? He caused me to doubt the gifts God had put in me, he caused me to doubt that God had called and anointed me, he caused me to doubt that I was worthy and loved by God, and he caused me to doubt that God could even use me. The scripture in John 10 that says the enemy has come to kill, steal, and destroy has never been so real to me before. Sure I've been through hard things, but I have never come under an attack so close and personal to my heart and my identity in Christ. This is the day that I say no more! God has been revealing to me over the past few days just how much I have let this fear infect all my decisions and my emotions. It was literally killing me. I love this scripture because God first releases them to go and reminds them that he is the one who is giving them the land. Then he addresses the immediate reaction (that every human that's ever lived deals with), the fear. He declares all of these victorious things over Israel, "I go before you, I will fight for you, I will carry you, I will show you which way to go...". The part the really got my heart was how it said, "The LORD your God carried you, as a man carries his son..." I don't think I'm the only one who has ever struggled with this, but trying to understand God as my Father, it's really hard for me. God has been a father to me, but only to the extent that I have let him. I want so badly to let him in more. I want to let him carry me into this next season. I will not waste God's plan for my life trying to make it work on my own. I just won't. I want to learn so much and grow so much closer to God than I ever have before. I am so expectant that God will do something drastic in me that will change how I live out the rest of my life. I don't want to be a lazy, comfortable, apathetic christian girl who is ineffective in the Kingdom of God. I want to be someone who walks so closely with the Holy Spirit that others feel the presence of God. I want to be someone who makes the enemy scared. I want to be the woman that God has created me to be. I want to be a fighter. I know that God is faithful. This one thing I know to be true more than I know that the sky is blue: God is faithful. God will show me the way to go.

This is scary and exciting and totally outrageous all at the same time, but I am so excited to see what God does in the next year of my life. I will miss my family and my wonderful friends so, so much... but I know it's what I need to do. I really love Jesus, like a whole stinking lot :)

The "almost city girl",
Elyxis
:)

The Best of the Best!

So, for some reason unknown to me, these picture decided to upload in miniature size.
I haven't posted pictures in FOREVER, so I have quite a bit of catch up to do!
Here's when we went to Idaho!

We took these during our 45 minute long detour (aka we went the wrong way for a long time!)

Seattle!!!!

The Crew.

CLC representing!

CLC Graduation, 2010!!!

CLC Picture Day!

For some reason, this picture's normal size, so that's awesome.
:)

Beard and Mustache competition!

redonculous.

Beach Trip with Stacia!
(All these are big too?)
Oh well!

So that's the past 3 months in a nutshell!
Wooo Hoooo!

Incredibly Excited About Summer!
Elyxis!

.:The Winds Are About To Change:.

So it comes down to this. Tomorrow is my last day of CLC. Holy Cow. There are so many emotions flowing through my veins right now! I am inexpressibly excited to enter into a new season and to enter in to all the fullness that God has for me. I am overjoyed by the things that God has done in my life over the past two years. I am overwhelmed when I think of how he's blessed me with such amazing friends. I am also sad. Not a sadness from regret or mistake, but a heightened awareness of the fact that this amazing season of my life is coming to a close. God has been so faithful to give me peace and joy over the past few weeks. I for sure will miss this time of my life... it's been awesome! I value all that he's done. I value the people he's brought me so close to. I value Jay and Bo so much. I value his word more than I ever have. I value my time with him so much more. I value my own life more. I value obedience. I value relationship. I value the Holy Spirit. But one thing I am especially thankful for is the fact that this is also the beginning of something incredibly beautiful and precious to the Lord, in not only my life, but my friends' lives too. I absolutely cannot wait to see where God takes us all. I have such a sense of hope and excitement. I know that God will take us on different paths and towards different goals... but this I also know: He has allowed us to cross paths for the past two years, and because of that, I have been blessed and have learned and have been healed of past hurts and have loved deeper... for that I am truly grateful. I know that throughout our lives God will bring us to intersections where we will cross paths again. This is not the end, but the beginning. I'm trying not to get all sappy and emotional about this, but I can't help it! There is a tension in my spirit as God teaches me to cherish and treasure, but also live a life with open hands... open to receive and open to let go. It's hard, I'll get it someday. But for now, here I am.

"His lightnings light up the world; the earth sees and trembles." Psalm 97.

We are his lightnings, and he's going to send us out... I cannot wait to see what he does!

This song has been playing through my head for the past week or so, so here it is!




Oh Happiness!
Elyxis

Beauty

Just thought I would share this super cool picture I took last weekend!
God is pretty rad.

Also:
I graduate two weeks from this Wednesday. This is also a beautiful thing.

Crossroads: prt2

Do you ever feel like you're in that place where you know God is speaking and directing you, but it's just kind of fuzzy? Gosh, I know that feeling all too well right now! I know that I'm about to enter into a season of my life where the decisions I make, whether they seem small or big, will set the pace for how I walk out these next few years after CLC, and maybe even how I walk out the rest of my life. I think every young adult comes to the point where they realize the call of God on their life and that it's for real, it's not a game. My choices, out of obedience to Christ or not, will determine the outcome of my life. I don't want to be a sleepy, ineffective, passive Christian... I just don't want to! I've contemplated much what I will do after June 2nd, 2010. I am graduating. I can't even remember what life outside of CLC looks like! I for sure have never experienced "grown up life" (if you could call it that) outside of CLC. I was 17 when I started, and now I'm almost 20. My affection and love for God has gotten so deep in my heart over the past two and a half years. I look at all he has done in my life, and am constantly blown away by his grace and swept away by his love. So what will I do after I graduate... God knows. I don't need to know this exact second...
One of the greatest truths I have come to really own over the past two years is that God really is the only one who can satisfy me, the only one. When you are alone enough, and go through hard things enough, and after looking to as many other things as you can for long enough, you come to realize this very thing...Jesus is enough. There are dreams and desires in my heart that I cannot wait for God to fulfill! I see a lot of people my age, more particularly girls my age, who live their lives out of a place of desperation (not for God), fear, anxiety, worry, stress, and who try so hard to be who they think their friends or the world or their parents want them to be. I'll be the first to admit it... I live out of that place way too often. God is showing me that he doesn't want another _______ (fill in the name), he wants me, just as I am. Last week, I was worshiping in a large group of people and my mind started to wander just a tad bit, and I felt God speak to me so clearly. It was as if he was grabbing my face and holding it and shouting above all the chaos and noise, simply saying, "Right now, I want you... forget about all these other people... I want you." I know that God cared about those other people in the room and that he was ministering to them and all that (cuz he's God) but it was just this intimate moment where I knew it was just him and I... and that's how it should be. Sometimes you just need God to remind you that he's in love with you!

I once heard a man say this:

I have never lacked any good thing, I don't lack any good thing, and I don't suspect I ever will.

Living satisfied in Jesus is for sure a choice, that I know! But the reality and beautiful truth of it all is that the creator of the whole freaking universe chose me, and passionately loves me, and is eternally committed to growing in relationship with me. When I live like I actually believe that, being satisfied in Jesus is like breathing air... sure, sometimes there are complications, but you can't help but breath.... breathing deep and long. I want to live in satisfaction like that!


Learning and living to choose Jesus,
Elyxis

At The Feet of Jesus

I was thinking the other day, about the feet of Jesus. What is the significance of someone who lives their life at the feet of Jesus? What are they doing at the feet of Jesus? Why are they there? So many questions! What is it about the feet of my Savior that is so enthralling? I'm not really talking about his actual feet, cuz lets face it people, feet are kinda gross... especially then, when everyone walked everywhere, in stinky sandals, with sweaty dirt stained feet. I'm talking about what being at someone's feet actually means... what do you have to give up to be at someone's feet? Throughout Jesus' life time, there were many people who chose to rest or fall or just simply be at his feet. There are four different occasions that I want to look at where people decided to go to his feet:

The first three occasions are with Mary (Martha and Lazarus' sister)
There are three different portions of scripture that I feel really tell Mary's story.

The first is in Luke 10:38-42. Here we have the well known story, where Martha is working and running around like a chicken with its head cut off, while Mary decides to sit at Jesus' feet and listen. Jesus says of Mary, "She has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her."

The second story is found in John 11 where we come across Mary in a seemingly hopeless situation. Her brother Lazarus is dead. Martha and Mary had sent for Jesus, to come and heal their brother, but he didn't show up... he appeared on the scene a little to late. Jesus waited outside the town, and Mary, hearing he had finally come, ran to him. Verse 32, "Now when Mary came to where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet saying, 'Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.'"

The third story is found one chapter later, in John 12. 12:3 says, "Mary therefore took a pound of of expensive ointment made from pure nard, and anointed the feet of Jesus and wiped his feet with her hair." Mary was there to worship. I would be in the same place if Jesus rose my brother from the dead!

These are three very different reasons to be at Jesus' feet, the first is an active choice to listen, the second seems an outcry of desperation, and the third is in response to the goodness of Jesus. In the first story, Mary understood the importance of listening to Jesus, in the second story, she was driven to the feet of Jesus because of a circumstance that seemed grim and hopeless, and in the third story she was going to a place of sacrifice and intimate worship that was understood by her and Jesus alone (we see this in the next verse as Judas criticizes her for her decision).

The fourth occasion that I want to look at is when Jesus was delivered up and crucified on the cross. Here we see a group of people who kneel at Jesus' feet out of ignorance, selfishness, and sin.

Mathew 27:28-29, "And they stripped him and put a scarlet robe on him, and twisting together a crown of thorns, they put it on his head and put a reed in his right hand. And kneeling before him, they mocked him, saying, 'Hail, King of the Jews!'"

Mark 15:16-19, "They (the soldiers) called together a whole battalion (which, by the way is about 600 men). And they clothed him in a purple cloak, and twisting together a crown of thorns, they put it on him. And they began to salute him, 'Hail, King of the Jews!' And they were striking him and kneeling down in homage to him."

John 19:23-24, "When the soldiers had crucified Jesus, they took his garments and divided them into four parts, one part for each soldier; also his tunic. But the tunic was seamless, woven in one piece from top to bottom, so they said to one another, 'Let us not tear it, but cast lots for it to see whose it shall be.' This was to fulfill the scripture which says, 'They divided my garments among them, and for my clothing they cast lots.' So the soldiers did these things."

These soldiers sat at the foot of the cross dividing up Jesus' clothing. They were there to take.

As I have read through these different accounts of people going to Jesus' feet, God has asked me one question: Why and when do YOU come to my feet?

I know that more often than not I find myself at Jesus' feet for selfish reasons. I can kneel before him to listen, to be comforted, to worship, or I can come in, mocking his power, and take.

More than anything, I want to be a Mary. I don't want to be the Roman Soldiers, no way! At the beginning, I asked a question: What is the significance of someone who lives their life at the feet of Jesus. Maybe the question should be this: What is the significance of the life of someone who lives their life at the feet of Jesus. On my own, I am not significant. "Someone's" aren't significant. Thinking about the whole world, and thinking about my little life, I feel just that... little. Living my life at the feet of Jesus won't make me, as a person, significant but it will make the life that Christ lives through me significant.

Galations 2:20 (the Message)
"What actually took place is this: I tried keeping rules and working my head off to please God, and it didn't work. So I quit being a "law man" so that I could be God's man. Christ's life showed me how, and enabled me to do it. I identified myself completely with him. Indeed, I have been crucified with Christ. My ego is no longer central. It is no longer important that I appear righteous before you or have your good opinion, and I am no longer driven to impress God. Christ lives in me. The life you see me living is not "mine," but it is lived by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I am not going to go back on that."

The life I now live is in Christ, it is Christ living in and through me! He simply asks me to come to his feet, for anything and at anytime (in fact, that's the place where I should live!)

A life lived at the feet of Jesus allows a channel through which God can pour, in a way that I believe cannot be achieved by any other means. A life lived at the feet of Jesus is an effective, infective, fruit-bearing, radical life... this kind of life can change the world!

There is so many facets to God's grace and I love discovering things that I have never seen before... His grace astounds me!

Choosing feet :)
Elyxis

Crossroads

7 weeks from now I will be graduating my second year of Cascade Life Commission. Um, what?! I think time is playing tricks on me! I can hardly believe that it's come and gone so quickly...
...oh my goodness...
God has done so much in my life over the past 2 years.
I am indeed at a Crossroad.

Two weekends ago, I went to the Generation Church Conference up in Seattle... it was awesome! God spoke to me in such a personal way, He gave me a bit of direction, and He reignited passion in my heart! Jesus Rocks!

He's been taking me to a place everyday in my devotions of just discovering more and more of his presence and showing me who he really is...
I think everyone has certain ways that they view God or connect with him or whatever. These are good things when they are inspired by the Holy Spirit. But when the way we view God is solely influenced by our own experiences, we can get terribly off track, quickly.

God has been so faithful to reveal the wrong mindsets that have been setting up camp in my brain for many many years... not only that, but He's been faithful to show my how to get rid of them too :)
Today He showed me this, from 2 Corinthians 12:14-15
"Here for the third time I am ready to come to you. And I will not be a burden, for I seek not what is yours but you. For children are not obligated to save up for their parents, but parents for their children. I will most gladly spend and be spent for your souls. If I love you more, am I to be loved less?"

I read this like a little note from a father to his daughter.

I have never thought of a father who would spend and be spent for his daughter.
Today God showed me that I cannot put my mindsets about my earthly father on Him, because he is not like that. God is my Father. He's saving up for me. He will stop at nothing to see me become who he created me to be and to know Him like He knows me.
This is why I love Him!

He's different then I expected and everything I hoped for and far beyond anything I could have ever dreamed and nothing I deserve and all that I want!

I love Him a whole lot!

After CLC, I have no real definite plan of what I'm gonna do with my life, but I know that as I enter into this Crossroad in my life, this intersection of potential and opportunity and God's purpose, something beautiful and adventurous will happen! I'm so excited, I'm pretty sure I have no words to really describe to you just how excited I am to enter into a new season and to enter into all that Jesus has for me! It's gonna be freaking awesome!

I am madly in love with a wonderful, gracious, caring, loving savior.
Who knew life with Christ could be like this?!
...Oh Jesus...
!!!

So Madly in Love!,
Elyxis

.:The Hero:.

So I have had some very interesting conversations over the past week about the differences between guys and girls... and I've come to the conclusion that we are total opposites, but each make one half of a whole. Before I explain myself further, I would like to put this disclaimer out there: someone else does not make us whole, Jesus Christ makes us whole, and completes and fulfills us, in a way that no other human can. With that said though, God was so intelligent in his design of men and women... he did make us each a part of one whole. God made man and women in his image. I was having a conversation with an awesome guy friend of mine the other day, and he said something that I had never thought of before. He said that females show him more of who God is whenever he's around them (some, on the other hand he said, show him satan....but those aren't the ones we're talking about here, haha!). Women, especially the ones who love Jesus, are intriguing... there's beauty and mystery, gentleness and kindness, love and grace. It really took me aback as he talked about it. So often you hear guys, well the immature ones at least, complain about women... that they're too emotional, too hard to understand, not worth the effort, too this, not enough of this, and so on. It's funny how mindsets set in so readily and easily. I totally realized that even though I am a girl, I had started to buy in to these lies. I found myself questioning myself. Maybe I am too much, maybe I think too much, or maybe I even feel to much. WHAT?! That's such a load of crap! I am made in God's freaking image! You know, God is fierce, strong, brave, courageous, vengeful, jealous, wrathful, and He's a warrior. So true. And I'm thankful that he's the pursuer and that he is all of these things. I wouldn't want him any other way, no thank you to wimpy-ness! But people!, God is loving and kind, his mercies are new every morning, every morning! He is slow to anger. He weeps for us. He feels the things that I feel. He is beauty. He is mystery. God is the author of these things, he's the author of me...
Another thing that's been on my mind is just knowing God, REALLY knowing God, as my most intimate friend and even, dare I say it, my most intimate lover. Risque, I know! Men in general want to be the hero, they want to save the day and solve the puzzle. They want to succeed. They want to be "MAN!" {little side note: you can insert the word Man or simply the letter "M" into any sentence, word, or phrase and it instantly becomes more manly, i.e. "mable" (man table), man class (vs. our "women's issues"), man dates, man nights, man tights (ok, yeah I made that one up...), you get the moint (man point)} Anyways... wow, WAY off track! (ok, serious time) Jesus was fully God and fully man. Anytime that I've ever thought of him dying on the cross for me, I've known it was all for love... but I guess I've never thought about what kind of love... it was more than the love you have for your favorite pop tart or chick-flick, and certainly more than just someone he had to love. I can't even wrap my little brain around it! On the cross, he was my hero... he was taking my shame and my guilt and the total of my failures, and he completely accepted them as his own, so that I could know his Father. He was a real Man, to the fullest degree and extent. I think a stereo-type that society has put on men is that they can't fail, mess up, or be wrong and still be a real man... after those screw-up's, they become some sort of version of half a man, or not one at all. Can I just say how much this is so untrue! By all outward appearances, Jesus had failed as a man. I can only wonder what was going on in his heart and in his spirit as he hung on that cross, for me. Did he see beauty and mystery in me, did he see something in me that was worth dying for? This goes for both men and women... what did he see in us?!

So much to take in! It's made me stop and look at 3 things in myself:

1. Am I portraying the image of God that he has placed inside of me, as a woman after his own heart?
2. Have I let Jesus have my heart, as my hero and rescuer and most intimate lover?
3. What can I do to invite the Men of God around me to reveal more of the image that God has placed inside of them, as men?
   

Like I was talking about at the beginning of this ridiculously long thing, God has made us two parts of one whole. We are so opposite in some areas, and scarily more similar in ways we didn't know we were in other areas. God made us to compliment each other. Sure, compliments about clothing or biceps are nice, but that's not what I'm talking about... what I'm proposing here is that together we can most accurately portray the very image and character of the Living God. That's a big statement, if I've ever heard one!
Take a sec to think about what that actually means....

This "little" revelation is simply blowing my mind... why have I never thought about this before? This whole thing is probably old news to most people... haha :)


How to end this blog escapes me.
This process of understanding God and men and all matters in life is so much fun...
I love Jesus :)

In the arms of my hero,
Elyxis

Removing Locks from my Heart...

This past week truly has been amazing! In my last post I was talking about the wilderness. I have been in the wilderness, for sure. I made the decision to face the wilderness and stop trying to run away from it and was pleasantly surprised! There are still things that I need to deal with (as always) but I feel like at one level or another, I have started to break through a major wall in my life... a wall called doubt. I doubt my ability, my calling, the gifts the Lord has given me. I doubt whether or not Jesus wants to work in and through me and whether he even can. I doubt in so many things and if it's not one thing, it's the other. I'm always doubting and second guessing. I need to stop it! More particularly when it comes to worship. Worship is something that has always captivated me, pulled on my heart, but it is something that I have to fight hard for. I know that God wants to use it in a powerful way in my life, so consequently the enemy is bent on stealing it from me... and if he can't do that, he'll try to get me to misuse it. I feel like God has begun to recenter me in the area. Praise God! Jay's friend Mark Thorton came to speak to CLC this week. He said a few things that I believe was really the Lord speaking to me for the time that I'm in right now:

• My job as a worshiper (or worship leader) is not to usher others into the presence of God, but to open the eyes of others so that they can encounter his presence.
• The presence of the Lord is the subject of reality. The glory of the Lord is the object of reality.
• Don't be guilty of not entering in because of other people.
• Opportunities of a lifetime must be seized in the lifetime of the opportunity.
• I have as much of God as I want.
• The source is always more important than the resource.
• It's more important that Jesus receives my praise than it is for me to give praise.

He asked us these questions:

• Should God's presence be my whole pursuit?
• What is preventing me from encountering God?
• When I say I want more of God, does my life reflect that desire?
• Am at a point where if God never does anything else for me, I will still serve him and give him everything I am?
• What am I excepting from the enemy?

These questions and many others from the Holy Spirit have been mulling around in my brain this whole week as I really look inwardly and ask for change. The first half of CLC I think was kind of a desert season for most of us, but as the first week of our second semester has rolled on through, I really believe that God wants to take us all to a new place, individually and as a group.

"But whatever former things I had that might have been gains to me, I have come to consider as [one combined] loss for Christ's sake. Yes, furthermore, I count everything as loss compared to the possession of the priceless privilege (the overwhelming preciousness, the surpassing worth, and supreme advantage) of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord and of progressively becoming more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him [of perceiving and recognizing and understanding Him more fully and clearly]. For His sake I have lost everything and consider it all to be mere rubbish, in order that I may win (gain) Christ (the Anointed One), And that I may [actually] be found and known as in Him, not having any [self-achieved] righteousness that can be called my own, based on my obedience to the Law's demands (ritualistic uprightness and supposed right standing with God thus acquired), but possessing that [genuine righteousness] which comes through faith in Christ (the Anointed One), the [truly] right standing with God, which comes from God by [saving] faith. [For my determined purpose is] that I may know Him [that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His Person more strongly and more clearly], and that I may in that same way come to know the power outflowing from His resurrection [which it exerts over believers], and that I may so share His sufferings as to be continually transformed [in spirit into His likeness even] to His death, [in the hope] That if possible I may attain to the [spiritual and moral] resurrection [that lifts me] out from among the dead [even while in the body]. Not that I have now attained [this ideal], or have already been made perfect, but I press on to lay hold of (grasp) and make my own, that for which Christ Jesus (the Messiah) has laid hold of me and made me His own. I do not consider, brethren, that I have captured and made it my own [yet]; but one thing I do [it is my one aspiration]: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the [supreme and heavenly] prize to which God in Christ Jesus is calling us upward."

Philippians 4:7-14 (AMP)

Climbing Walls,

Elyxis